Don’t stop with Human Centipede II: let’s ban more films and stop this sick filth NOW

There’s been much gnashing of teeth and no small amount of moral righteousness at the decision by the BBFC earlier this week to ‘ban’ Human Centipede II and pretty much stop any chance of it being shown in British cinemas.

Some would claim that it doesn’t really matter anyway, as those who want to watch it will just be able to illegally download it – and that the added publicity from this dreary controversy will lead to even more people trying to watch it at all costs.

That makes about the same sense as not banning shoplifting, thuggery, neo-Nazi parties, Noel Edmonds, etc, just because it’s going to happen anyway whether we like it or not. Obviously these self-regarding morons haven’t thought about the importance of taking a stand.

Anyone who watched the first Human Centipede – I bravely did so in the name of stopping others from wasting a couple of hours of their lives - should be able to attest to its inherent rubbishness, coming up with a gross-out concept but then failing to deliver where it matters: in delivering a decent movie.

It appears that with the sequel director Tom Six is now intent on delivering the horror film equivalent of the Aristocrats joke, becoming ever the more extreme in his rehashing of the same sordid event. The shame of this is that Six seems from his debut to be a terrible storyteller, so the BBFC are really doing us a favour by releasing us from the burden of whether to opt for that or Spider-Man 2 when opting to rent out something with an creepie-crawlie-related theme to it.